Wednesday, August 14, 2013

In which my complaint is transferred to Business Cat.

Liam: "Hi hon, just calling to let you know that I just got out of work and I'm at the Merrimack office so it will take me at least 45 minutes to get home. Actually, I need to pick up dog food and a few other things so I'll probably be home in about an hour and a half."

Me: "Boooo, so late? I protest."

Liam: "Oooooo sorry, all of my complaints are being handled by Sirius now."

Me: "... Sirius?" (Sirius is my cat.)

Liam: "Yep. He's very good at handling complaints. He has a 100% success rate."

Me: "But..."

Liam: "And if you're still unhappy he'll flop over and let you snuggle his belly."

Me: "Hmmm, that does sound nice, but what if he cannot resolve my complaint?"

Liam: "Well, we happen to have a fine manager. She's a little hard to find, but she's great at listening."

Me: "And who would that be?"

Liam: "Butterscotch. She's usually hanging out under the arm chair. She looks like she's napping, and she might run away, but that's because of the meetings. Believe me, if she finds out that Sirius can't resolve your complaints, she'll punish me. Probably by yacking up a hairball or tripping me."

Me: "So what role does Tomoe have in all of this? What is her job?"

Liam: "Um, Tomoe is my cat."

Me: "She doesn't have a job?"

Liam: "No, she's a cat. I'm surprised you haven't picked up on this."

I didn't have a response for that. Liam: 1, Elisabeth: 0

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